This is part five of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.
Your voicemail greeting can provide a surprising amount of information about you. What you say, how you say it, and how long it takes you to say it can all DHV or DLV you. A good voicemail greeting can convey value, humour, preselection, create jealousy…the possibilities are only limited by your imagination. It’s like having a wingman secretary to take your calls when you’re not around! A lot of PUAs overlook the usefulness of their voicemail greeting, which is why it gets it’s very own article here. As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.
Your voicemail greeting (the thing that says “I’m not here, leave a message, blah blah blah”) can be used to convey all sorts of things about yourself. If your avatar is something of the “cool, successful businessman” variety, then you can use it to create the impression that you are a very important person in a business sense (which usually implies that you have access to financial resources – a DHV). If you’re a sarcastic, fun, party-all-night kind of guy, then you can use it to convey a sense of fun or cleverness (both are DHVs). Or you can just use it to convey sexuality and preselection which, needless to say, are massive DHVs.
Here are some examples of possible voicemail greetings:
If you have business contacts calling you a lot on your cell, you are kind of stuck with only a few options. If you can get away with it without anyone asking any questions, make your greeting sound incredibly professional, as if you’re worth a million bucks. Make up a name and say something like:
“You’ve reached [insert full name here], I’m not available to take your call. If this is an emergency, please contact Samantha, she’ll know how to get a hold of me.”
And if anyone asks who Samantha is, you can always just say “Oh she’s someone that works with/for me. You won’t ever need to deal with her though.”
Something like this can convey a lot of value. If you are a person who has someone that people can contact to get a hold of you in an emergency (note that it is implied that the important people will already know her number), then you must be an important person. The implications of this fact can be a great subtle DHV.
If you don’t have to worry too much about your boss or clients calling your cell, you can really go crazy with it.
My old greeting used to say “Hey you’ve reached Kevin’s voicemail. Leave your name and measurements and I’ll get back to you.”
One of my wings has one that says “You got the voicemail. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you. Leave me a sexy message and I’ll get back to you sooner.”
You would be surprised by some of the ridiculous messages we have each received. The trick here is NOT TO SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE. A buddy of mine has one that says “Hey you reached Chris. I either couldn’t make it to the phone or I didn’t want to talk to you. Figure it ouuuuutttt.” Now, if the delivery wasn’t just right on this (or any of the ones above, really) he would sound like quite a douchebag. But he has just the right amount of humor and silliness in his voice to make you laugh when you hear it, so it’s perfectly fine.
This is again a DHV because you are showing a good sense of humor while simultaneously conveying sexuality, and if nothing else, sets you apart from the average guy. If they laugh, you’ve got it right. If they leave you a sexy message, you’re doing it right. If they tell you they hate your voicemail, then you should seriously consider changing it (calibrate on whether she REALLY hates it, or if she’s just shit-testing you). If you get a voicemail from your target that says “You need to change that stupid voicemail thing” in a legitimately annoyed voice, you should probably take that advice.
Of course, the absolute best thing to do in my opinion is to get your wing-girl or a female friend with a sexy voice to record a greeting for you. My current greeting says:
“You’ve reached Kevin’s cell phone. He’s a little TIED UP at the moment *giggle giggle* leave a message and he’ll get back to you when he’s FREE.”
And because I love you guys, you can listen to it here (sorry about the quietness and low quality).
These are all just sample ideas that I’ve seen work in the real world very well, but you are by no means limited by them. Expirement! Try different things. Look for voicemail greetings online and either use them as they are or improve them and use your own version. Just as with any type of routine or gambit in the field, what you do is only limited by your imagination!
Regardless of what you use, try to keep is short and sweet. Nothing is more annoying than a greeting that goes on forever about nothing. Have you ever gotten someone’s voicemail and had to listen to them sing a song into your ear for several minutes before you could get to the beep? It’s frustrating and aggravating and most people will just hang up rather than wait. Similarly, I’ve seen some otherwise interesting people apparently just ramble into their phone for what feels like forever. I called a buddy of mine a while back and his voicemail went like this:
“Hey you’ve reached ____, I’m either not available or I’m asleep or my phone is off or something. You can leave a message but it would be better if you just called me back. If you do want to leave a message though, I check it pretty regularly, so I can get back to you. Anyway, leave your name and number and what the call is regarding and I’ll call you back.”
It was horrible! The only reason that – I – sat there and listened to the whole thing was because I just couldn’t believe that it was still going! But who else would really wait through all that just to leave a message? A high-value HB10 with dozen other guys to potentially call? Not likely! You want them to leave a voicemail, so you want to keep your greeting short and to the point.
Next week: how to handle things if you cant get her on the phone!
About Prophet
Prophet is a
VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.
What’s Up Her Skirt?
Female Anatomy: Part 2 of 2.
We’ve touched on the clitoris, let’s continue with getting to know a woman’s vulva and discuss the labias. There are two sets of labias (vulva lips), the labia majora and labia minora. The labia majora, also known as the outer lips, extends down from the mons pubis on both sides of the vulva, surrounding the inner lips. They extend all the way to the inner thighs and to the beginning of the buttocks. The labia majora, as with the mons pubis, has hair follicles and pubic hair, which can vary in thickness, texture, color, and scent. Did he just say scent? Yes! Although we live in a culture where most pubic hair is shaved or waxed, there are sexual functions for pubic hair. Research has shown that the scent from vulva secretions from a woman’s pubic hair follicles can actually increase sexual arousal for a male through the olfactory senses and vice versa (smell). That means women can get aroused by your scent (not body odor) as well. A little hair can go a long way. The labia majora are also filled with numerous nerve endings and blood vessels. Blood vessels and blood circulation are important because that can lead to heightened arousal. The more blood we get flowing through the vulva, the higher the likelihood of vasocongestion (engorgement of blood) and increased arousal, sensation, and orgasm.
Beneath the labia majora lie some very important internal structures, namely the crura (roots) of the clitoris and the vestibular bulbs. They are important structures because they can be stimulated to help increase arousal. Many skillful lovers neglect or rush through stimulation of the outer labias, which can be a mistake. This is what I meant in the last article by “watering the roots.” Adequate stimulation of the crura and vestibular bulbs through the labia majora can help lead to a well-lubricated vagina and sexually aroused female.
The labia minora, or inner lips, are located within the labia majora and surround the urethral opening (where female urine exits) and the vaginal opening. They vary in size, color, shape, texture, and appearance. They are hairless and are connected to the clitoral hood. As with all the parts we discuss, they have sensitive nerve endings and should be stimulated during foreplay for arousal purposes. In future articles, we will elaborate on ways to play with the labias for maximum levels of arousal.
The vaginal opening, also called the introitus, is located directly south of the clitoris between the urethral opening and the anus. Most of us understand this is where penetration occurs with the penis, fingers, and toys. However, there are a few things about the vagina and its opening that are important to know. First, the most sensitive portion of the vaginal canal is near the introitus. The outer 1/3 closest to the introitus has a vast amount of nerve endings and is more sensitive than the rest of the vaginal canal. Sexological research has shown that the most sensitive areas of the vaginal opening are located at the 12 o’clock, 4 o’clock, and 8 o’clock positions. Think of a peace sign as a mental reminder for sensitive introitus areas. The G-spot, or urethral sponge, area is located near the 12 o’clock position inside the vagina and the internal vestibular bulbs are located beneath the surface near the 4 o’clock and 8 o’clock positions. Coincidence? This is one of the few times I encourage using a watch and thinking about time during foreplay and sex.
As we venture south on Vulva Boulevard, some people begin to become uncomfortable with our next destinations and that’s perfectly fine. Leave them alone and go in peace. There isn’t a rule that people have to stimulate these areas, but my job is to let you know they can also be used for pleasure and arousal. The perineum is located between the introitus and the anus. It is a patch of skin filled with nerve endings and is often described as pleasurable for those that are comfortable with being touched in this area. The anus is another area of the vulva that is filled with numerous nerve endings and can be a source of pleasure for women. Some women are able to reach orgasm from anal stimulation or penetration, which should highlight for you the arousal potential of the anus. Many women feel uncomfortable with perineum/anal stimulation, so proceed with caution. Use techniques like open communication or obvious inviting non-verbal cues to give anal play the green light. In a future article, you can count on me challenging some of the myths and taboos associated with anal play as I find it to be a wonderful place for pleasure and excitement.
Now, we’ve got the vocabulary down. Believe me, the vulva is much more complicated anatomically and we barely scratched the surface, but the basics were important to cover. There is so much we can do to stimulate the vulva; sensation play, manual touching, digital stimulation, oral sex, fantasy, penetration, sex toys, etc. I’m thinking we should start exploring what our fingers and hands can do to get her hot and breathing heavy…
Dr. Hernando Chaves
Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves
Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.
AFC: I am not a woman-hater. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to manipulate anyone into doing something she’ll later regret.
Mystery: Nor am I. Others MAY be certainly, that’s not MY concern. You don’t have to be nor do I. We don’t give a shit about the philosophical underpinnings of the WHY. The HOW is all we care about. Cherry pick what is best for you. Remember though, that many of things we talk about are written because they WORK. RESULTS.
AFC: However, I don’t think that sex with me is something that anyone should regret. I’m a decent man. I treat people with respect. I’m honest. I’m reasonably handsome. I have no diseases. I make a good living. I keep a clean home. I’m an attentive lover. I even have a large penis and good stamina (despite a relative lack of experience).
Mystery: You have realistically defined me. The concept of the ASSHOLE getting more girls than the NICE GUY is partly true though. It has to do with self-respect. Women will test you by shitting on you a bit when you meet her and you must not allow her to shit on you. You will WIN by ‘acting’ like an asshole and therefore not allowing them to shit on you. NICE GUYS finish last because they ALLOW the woman to shit on them.
AFC: Considering all the ugly, disease-spreading, parasitic jerks out there who somehow seem to be able to get beautiful women into bed despite treating them badly, I’m sure there are a lot of beautiful women out there who would be much happier sleeping with me instead.
Mystery: The Art of Attraction is an art of the mind. This is not a game of yatzee. It’s a game of chess. The ugly jerks you refer to may get a girl or two (usually ugly girls) but the smart guys understand that behaving like a ladies man gets more girls. By systematic investigation we discover what works and what doesn’t, share the info so we don’t have to reinvent the wheel and get results. This has nothing to do with being a dirty jerk. This is an elitist group. You need a brain. You need to be sober. You need to take care of your body. You need to learn how to be attentive. This is no easy game of tic tac toe. I am a perfect gentleman. Consider Gone with the Wind (Rhett Butler). He was a cool guy, but when the Scarlet acted up, he didn’t take her shit. Self-respect – is that being an asshole? Hmmm.
AFC: My problem is a lack of social skills, if not life skills altogether. (I think a big part of it is that I’m so afraid of doing anything that will offend or upset somebody that I end up not doing or saying anything at all.) I have a very hard time making friends or lovers.
Mystery: You seem to be suffering from NICE GUY SYNDROME. We call them LAMOs. Nothing personal. Here you are such a smart guy, all clean cut and purdy and yet you can’t consistently get women to find you attractive. See? This has nothing to do with natural looks. It’s all about behavior. How you behave weekly to allow the statistics to work for you and how to behave in front of a state changing beauty. NICE GUYS go home alone when the SMART GUY gets the girls. NICE GUYS call the SMART GUYS … ASSHOLES. Funny, isn’t it?!!!
AFC: Despite what I have said above (and I don’t think that this is a contradiction, although I can understand that some people will perceive it that way), I am not looking for a deep, monogamous relationship. I just want to make some friends, have some fun, and have some sex, preferably with a variety of beautiful women. (Preferably simultaneously, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.)
Mystery: That is an honest WHY. Happens to be MINE too. A little bit of QUALITY with QUANTITY. Not overly unrealistic. I suggest you begin by accepting the NEWBIE MISSION.
**SHOWCASE EDIT: For those not familiar with the newbie mission, it is to go out for 4 hours a night, 4 nights a week for a 6 week period, opening 3 sets an hour which will leave you 20 minutes for each set. Bouncing to a new venue at midnight will keep ensure fresh venues with continuous sets.
Whilst opinions differ on the value of having a ‘Routine Stack’ (a structured list of routines), and the mere topic often promotes debate within the pick up community, I personally found having a stack really helped my development in game. For me it was useful to have early Instant Value Demonstration (IVD) and DHV material scripted in a logical order and ready to go, freeing me up to concentrate on my body language, kino, compliance testing and the development of calibration skills.
As my game improved I moved away from stacks, but I still consider them to be a particularly useful development tool for the beginner and intermediate PUA. In fact a year or two back I began to insist that all my new 1 on 1 students developed personalized stacks before I took them infield. This ensured I could concentrate on their key development areas without the variability of them throwing in routines in a random (and sometimes inappropriate / inefficient / illogical) order. This approach tended to work very well for them, so my support for stack use was reinforced.
A well thought out stack can provide rapid DHV uploads, include multi-threading, boost buying temperature, initiate kino, and test compliance all within a short time period and often without doing too much thinking. This is one of the key reasons stacks are useful for those progressing in game. Ever been in set trying to figure out what to say next? Used a comfort routine that didn’t work out because you through it in too early? Stacked multiple openers and didn’t generate attraction? These types of problems can be removed from your game very early on via the use of a routine stack.
For brevity in this article I’ll describe my favored stack format covering Opening and A2 of the Mystery Method, in my next article I’ll continue running through into A3 and include a typical time bridge and number close routine I’ve used often.
So…In simple terms the basic Mystery Method Open/A2 stack format I have used most is…
• OPENER (with FTC and Neg)
• FTC
• IVD#1
• DHV Story#1
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• DHV Story#2
• Confirm 3 IOI’s? If yes then Qualify (Move into A3 stack), Or…
• Continue with IVD #2 or DHV #3 and Qualify (Move into A3 stack)
I find that if your first piece following the opener provides the girls with something of value (i.e. an IVD), such as interesting information about them, then they are more likely to hook and listen to your following DHV loaded story. So as an example #1…
PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Is kissing cheating?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, are those real nails? They look nice anyway.
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: Its just my buddy’s girlfriend, she likes to get with other girls…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: “Group cold read” – …something interesting about this group, well she seems like the mother hen, always looking after you all, you seem like the wild one…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Actually though, you remind me of a girl I used to know…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
I’ve not included all the details of the routines, you could use any appropriate OPENERs/IVDs/DHVs, its just to demonstrate how despite human interaction being non-linear, you can control where the conversation goes by cutting their threads when they milk your topic and stacking forward to your next piece. They can be saying anything in the ‘blah blah blah’ areas, but in the end I’m gonna get my next important IVD/DHV piece across regardless. Another example…
PUA: OPENER/FTC: Hey guys, just quickly…Who lies more, men or women?
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: NEG: Hey, how short are you?
PUA: OPENER CONTEXT: I saw an article today talking about how often men / women lie…etc.
HB’s: blah blah blah
PUA: FTC: Anyway, I gotta go, but I just noticed…
PUA: IVD: ….You have a C shaped smile…etc
HB’s: Blah blah blah
PUA: DHV Story #1: Respect. Hey get this, last time I was in this place the craziest thing happened…etc
HB’s: blah blah blah
Straightforward and effective, first 5 or 6 minutes of the interaction accomplished time and time again.
In summary, its my view that a stack allows you to plan the early stages of your interactions, making them efficient by ensuring the set has heard your key leader/protector/pre-selection attraction material without you having to think too much about how to get this info across. I’ve found this can remove some of the variability of your first few hundred sets and frees you up to notice whats going on with body language, IOI’s, compliance levels etc.
Big Love,
Caddy
Caddy@venusianarts.com
Tags: Caddy, dhv, girlfriend, girls, mystery method, opener, pua, routines, stack, venusian arts, women
In 2007, when the “The Pick-Up Artist” premiered on VH1, the world met James Matador, the faithful wingman of the show’s host, Mystery. The Matador is a master pickup artist, a co-author of the book “Revelation,” and one of the founding partners of the the Venusian Arts, for which he leads seminars and boot camps throughout the world on the art of seduction. A computer science graduate of Depaul University and former national-champion martial artist, Matador is also an actor, an entrepreneur, and amateur bodybuilder. According to his official bio, he is most known for his “Matador Mayhem” technique, “a process in which he allows himself to be chased by multiple women simultaneously by hugging, kissing, and making out with many women at the same time, causing all the women involved to feel jealous of one another and compete for his attention.”
So when BroBible met the Matador at Marquee in New York a while back, we asked if he’d be up for an interview. He was down, so after a few months of telephone and email tag, we finally caught up with him recently for an hour-long interview that we present today and tomorrow in two parts. We learned right off the bat that although a third season of “The Pick-Up Artist” is not in the cards, a different show with a new angle is indeed in the works. The Matador didn’t want to reveal too many details just yet, but we got him to open up about plenty more.
BroBible: Our readers are big fans of you and Mystery and the rest of the “PUA” crew, and are always curious about what kind of trouble you guys are getting yourselves into. Any recent epic or funny stories that you can share?
James Matador: Sure, I was just taking a flight from Las Vegas to L.A., and I met a girl on the plane, and we started talking and one thing led to another and we ended up fooling around on the plane. And then we ended up fooling around in between when we got off the plane and got to the baggage claim, and to my dismay at baggage claim, she’s like, “O.K., we have to stop,” and I said “Why?” And she said, “Because my boyfriend is picking me up and I don’t want him to see.” I was kind of shocked, because this was something that she failed to mention to me. It’s not my greatest adventure, but it’s definitely a funny one that comes to the mind immediately.
It’s hard to imagine you not slaying every time you go out, but do you have any really embarrassing stories?
When I was just starting off and practicing, and I remember I was testing the whole cocky-funny paradigm, and going out and trying to be cocky-funny, or trying to do cocky-funny repeatings or gambits, as we call it. So one thing that came to mind, at the time — and I see the inappropriateness of it now — but at the time I though it would be cocky and funny to go up to a girl and playfully pat her on the behind as the opener. Well, hey, I thought it was funny, cocky-funny, what’s the problem, right? Slap in the face, getting thrown out of a couple clubs. I quickly figured out that that’s not working. Those were not one of my finer moments.
A lot of our users, when they fall in love, they fall hard. And if their girl cheats on them, or they have a bad breakup, they don’t know how to get themselves back in the game. Do you have any advice for them?
When you fall hard and you have a bad breakup, the world it seems like is coming down on you. And I think that a lot of times you’re going to think, “This is only happening to me, the universe is collapsing on me.” Well guess what, this is exactly how everybody who has a breakup feels. Your body, your emotions are ubiquitous, and we all operate pretty much the same way, with some anomalies. And I think that, first of all, there are girls that I see and girls that I ended up having strong feelings for, and there comes a time when it has to end sometime. And yes, I do go through that feeling of loss, that feeling of sadness, but it’s a state of mind, and it’s how you want to look at it. You can either look at it as a door closing permanently forever, or you can look at it as a door opening and the sun shining through and beyond that door lay all these new adventures, and new beautiful women that you’re going to meet. And new good times to be had. For me, it gives me a sense of optimism to get off my ass or stop smoking cigarettes and wallowing. It’s almost this very normal and understandable feeling of sadness and get out and do something proactive and start creating some happy moments again and start being positive again. And it is tough and it’s kind of like quitting smoking. It’s not to meant to feel good, and it’s O.K. to feel bad but it’s pretty much what kind of man you want to be. Do you want sit there for weeks upon weeks upon weeks or do you want to get up and do something and change the current situation that you’re in? And it’s going to take some discipline and it’s going to take overriding what your emotions are telling you but I guarantee it’s the best course of action. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s something that has to be done. But I would say that it’s just one out of many instances in life — let’s say something happens to your business where you take a big hit that year. Are you going to run, are you going to hide, you gonna wallow in self-pity or are you going to use all of your resources, whatever they may be, to get up and fucking recover? That’s the way to look at it. You have to fucking recover. And know this: most of the time, when you do go out and you do meet a new girl who makes you happy, who you’re spending time with, most of the time the moment that happens, you immediately ameliorate all the negative emotions you had previously. And I’m not saying jump into another relationship, by the way, but it is healthy to start dating again, to start spending time with other women right away.
And this is no disrespect to women, but I think we live in a culture where love, so many notions of love have been mystified and it’s this mystical thing where we’re not supposed to understand it, that it just happens. But most of the time that when you have a lot of options in your life, two things happen: you start demanding better for yourself, you start realizing that a lot of these girls that you were going out with weren’t as special as you thought they were. Meaning they’re negative personalities, or unacceptable behavior, and I’m not saying all women are like this, I’m just saying that sometimes you need peace in the home and she just won’t stop nagging you. And you overlook it in the name of love. And when you start dating other women, you’re like, “Holy shit, I was pretty understanding, and this was why I had to break up with her because she wouldn’t stop fucking nagging me.” And you’re able to call women out on the stuff that is really not cool, and not O.K. But when you’re afraid that you’re not going to be able to get another girlfriend quickly or the next relationship’s going to come in a year from now, you get that feeling of, O.K., man, do I leave this vessel that I’m on right now? Do I leave what I have right now? I don’t know what’s going to happen. That can be a scary moment. I think the man who has options is in a position to make the most purest choice. Which is more pure: Being there because you want to be there or being there because you don’t have any other places to go?
What’s the best way to leave the girl the next morning and not be a total asshole? How can you do it with some class?
I guess what you’re saying is how to prevent resentful feelings and anger feelings in a relationship. Let’s look at what this is caused by. Anger is caused by a letdown in expectations. What are expectations caused by? Expectations are caused by telling people false statements or allowing them to believe things that aren’t true. So let me say this, that as a good pickup artist, you’re gonna be willing to lose the girl in order to get the girl. And if you have any egotistical thoughts in your head that I can pick up any woman, that’s not a healthy thing to do because it limits you and quite frankly it’s not fucking true and quite frankly you wouldn’t want to. So my point is this: When your skills are at a certain level, you can start screening for the type of women that you want in your life. So what are the type of women that I want in my life? Well as of right at this moment, well, yeah, I want to hang out with women who are beautiful, who have a good personality, who aren’t so emotionally hollow to where they need to latch onto the first guy that they see and their whole life revolves around me after that. And I am very upfront that I am seeing other people, that I do enjoy your company but don’t start asking me where am I going all the time? It’s not appropriate for you asking me those questions — who am I spending time with? Basically, lay down the expectations, the parameters of the relationship up front and center. What happens is people dodge these or aren’t capable of confronting those issues right off the front, so the other person is led to believe other things, aka, having expectations that aren’t accurate. And that’s when you get these really angry, rageful type feelings for the other person, where they call you an asshole and they start bad-mouthing you to your friends, but make no mistake, I never make statements or expectations, like I never say “I’m going to marry you,” “This is going to last forever,” if I don’t mean them, that is. “I’m not seeing anyone else.” I don’t bring these things up necessarily, but I never — I’m not a perfect person and I never claim to be — but to the best of my ability, I never try to be disingenuous in that way, does that make sense?
Totally. That’s the best way, that way they’re not going around bad-mouthing you and you can have fun with them.
It’s not only that. Fear of retaliation, that’s one motivator, but just in general you can still be, if you work on your way of being — and it’s also in our book, “Revelation” — and you understand what you want your personality, your lifestyle, and your identity to look like, you can still weave in characterstics in such a way that you do not have to be an untruthful person. We all tell little white lies when girls ask, “Does this dress make me look fat?” We withhold information at points to protect her feelings but at the same time I do believe you can be a pick-up artist and be a good guy and be an ethical person. There’s nothing unethical that happens naturally.
Another one, this is something that plagues a lot of guys now, the question of text messaging. How long should you wait? Is it a pussy move? What are your thoughts on text messaging?
There’s a whole school of thought on text messaging. I do think that when you are waiting to the point where you’ve already met and separated, now you’re trying to play the game going forward via text messaging, I think most of that work should have been done earlier. I’m not a text-messaging expert. Basically, here’s how all my text messages go. By the time it gets to the phone call or the text message, the girl and I really like each other and it’s a normal part of the process. The text message or the phone call isn’t scary because I’m going to know ahead of time whether it’s a flaky number or it’s a number I got because just for getting for lack of time in the moment or something like that. In terms of contacting the girl right away, I’m not saying being stalky or being needy, but remember at this point, if you know our model in “Revelation,” at this point it was supposed to have been already understood that the girl likes you and you the like the girl. And phone numbers are asked for or contact information is exchanged during comfort building, and what is that? That’s having a normal conversation, that’s having good conversation rapport, that’s vibing, that’s building connections, that’s building trust. And if you have a person in your life like that, a text message or a phone call is the most trivial thing. It’s basically the most obvious of things to start setting up the next time you guys are going to meet up. In terms of timing, right away: “Hey, get home safe, call me tomorrow.” In terms of the three-day rule or six-day rule, yeah, that’s old school, I know it was in that movie “Swingers,” but that’s just not something that we do.
What about as far as making plans? Is it a cop-out to just text her or do you actually have to call her up?
Either/or, it depends, because of the projects I have on my plate, I’d text more than I’d be calling, but if I want to give details… or talk or something I usually call.
Can you describe your perfect wingman?
I think anyone can be a good winger provided that you synchronize with the same strategy, if you will. And if you both respect the boundaries and you both have discipline, and I’m not saying that I do, or Mystery does all the time, especially when we’ve been drinking, but ideally when we see a girl…. Or for example, if I see a girl, and she’s attracted to me, she’s going to be throwing IOIs [indicators of interest] to my friend as well. Now my friend, he can misinterpret that as the girl coming on to him or he can understand because we both follow the same structure that this is normal, that her throwing IOIs to my friend is her attempt to get to know her because she wants to get to know me and my friends and my crew and my social circle. So don’t take this the wrong way to start escalating not isolating with her because that puts me into a position of having to be reactive and chase her, which lowers my value. I wouldn’t be in this fucking problem if you played your role right. And it requires someone willing to do that and most of all knowing how to do that, because I know a lot of good guys out there who are completely annoying to hell and they’re good people, doctors, police officers, but they haven’t taken the time to fully understand. When you really understand the game and the psychology aspect and you understand what your body and mind is doing to you, a lot of the time, I’m not saying all the time, but a lot of the time, you realize why you’re saying this, why you’re getting offensive, when your ego’s talking, when your ego is not talking. And a lot of time, most non-PUA people, they start saying and doing things that they have no clue why they’re fucking doing it. They just think it’s magically all happening. And your sitting there yourself saying, you’re not mad at this person but this person is inconvenient in the moment right now. It’s not that I’m not going to hang out with this person, it’s just that right now, if I go out, let’s say we get a table and I go out I’m usually the guy that a lot of my friends, I’m really into pickup and I’ve studied it for a number of years now, and that’s why a lot of friends will call me up because they’ll get the table, but then there will just be like all guys at the table and then I end up being the guy who goes out onto the floor, grabbing girls, bringing them the back. And if I go out and grab let’s say a three-set and I break them back. One guy starts creeping out one of the girls, guess what, the other two girls are going to want to leave. And I put in 20 minutes or if I really like the girl and we have a connection going, guess what, she’s going home that night and it’s because of him, and he’ll probably deny it the whole way home, and you’ve got to ask yourself, “Who the hell am I? I’m just some other guy? I’m in no position to educate somebody who doesn’t want my help or to give unsolicited advice?” But at the same time, if I pick up the phone to decide who I’m going out with the next night, it’s not going to be that person. That doesn’t mean to say I’m not going to go play a game of pickup basketball with him the next day or anything like that, but you’ve got to know people’s strengths and weaknesses, and what they’re good at and what they’re not good at.
Do you have a go-to pickup line?
Yeah, you know I used to be Mr. Routine. Mr. Pick-Up Line. But there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is I’m not the person to go talk to about like all the best routines in the world, but the good news is because after a certain point, these routines all fall under patterns of mine and what happens is when you start talking this way, doing these things, it starts integrating into your personality naturally so you can spot these things on the fly. You can be dynamically humorous, dynamically intelligent without having a set of routines that are funny or a set of routines that are interesting. So this is the most truthful answer at this moment: At this moment I don’t really use any openers. I go up and I say hello. Or if there is any one opener that I do use it’s a non-verbal body opener; I’ll go up and look at the girl and I’ll do this very overdramaticized rolling my eyes look like a girl’s mannerisms, or do the “Whatever” hand in your face gesture, which usually creates instant laughter. And then I turn around and I’m normal again and introduce myself and immediately start talking and start owning the conversation.
Warm them up with some humor.
Think about it. You have eight emotional dimensions, you know? There’s a fear dimension, you have a love dimension, and then each dimension there are shades of that primary emotion. For example, discomfort would be a shade of fear. Agreed?
Yep.
And happiness would be a shade of love, so most of the time you can look at a person and know what emotion that they’re on with a great deal of accuracy. If you need routines, it’s like in one to three seconds, you’ve got to take her out of discomfort and put her into happiness. An outward sign of happiness is laughter. Now that she’s in happiness and you’re the cause of it, you’re the stimulus, she’s going to be willing to talk to you for another couple minutes, and then if you can keep those core characteristics coming, because you should be working on your personality all the time, she’s going to deduce that you are this type of person. And not to sound cocky but I’ve had people make all kinds of weird statements to me: “Are you this funny? Are you this interesting? Are you this cool? Because you’ve cultivated your personality to where you can be interesting for a good amount of the time or be humorous a good amount of the time on end. And you can keep those characteristics coming to where there is nobody else in her environment or where she’s at that can surpass you. I’ll give you an example. If you’ve ever gone to a comedy show, and you’ve seen a good comic. Have you ever honestly laughed for an hour straight?
No.
Well, I have. I saw this one guy in Chicago and I laughed for an hour straight. It’s a very profound experience, and if you can make somebody laugh 10 times in a row, whether it’s a premeditated routine or if it’s just through your ability to be dynamically humorous, that is going to separate you from basically every other guy in the club. Maybe she’s bored, maybe she’s irritated of all the guys hitting on her, and then you come around and you’re the guy that within three minutes she’s laughed 10 times. You mean to say that you’re not the most emotionally relevant person in the world? Even if her friends want to go, she’s going to want to turn around and ask, “Do we really have to go?” Does that make sense?
Routines are good. I still endorse them for people who are new. However, what you want to do is, every routine, every routine causes some type of emotion to occur. Try to now understand a routine, the pattern of it, and start implementing those patterns without that routine into your personality to where you’re actually evolving into something better, and it happens quicker than you think. Now you take one month out of your life and dedicate it to the art form of humor, and in that one month you’re going to be, and I’m not saying you’re going to be Chris Rock, but in one month you are going to be a marginally more funny human being and be able to give people the gift of laughter better than you were at the beginning of the month. And just imagine doing that for years now. It’s like stand-up comics. You don’t think stand up comics have their routines? Chris Rock — I read a biography of him — he would specifically take his routine to try em out night after night after night. His pacing, his timing, his rhythm, all the stuff is planned and timed. It’s well thought through before he did the show. And it’s worth it. You see him here on HBO, for the last show he did, I think it’s called “Kill the Messenger,” it was some funny, man.
And it was three concerts filmed in three different cities and it was the same routine.
Yeah yeah yeah, exactly, it was a montage. One in London, one in South Africa, and one in new York.
On the topic of New York, South Africa… You’re out in L.A., based out there? We’re sure you travel to cities all over the country and all over the world? Do the girls change at all between city and city and do you adjust your technique at all when you’re in some place new?
Here’s the only barrier that at a certain point things that stop you usually are things that are out of your control like logistical things. For example, unless I proactively smile, or unless I dress in a way that conveys playfulness, personality, a girl — I’m not going to say she’ll find me unattractive, but she’ll definitely be on guard because do I look like a man who is capable of protecting or capable of danger? She just doesn’t know yet. So unless most of the time I can quickly convey my personality, but if there is a language barrier she doesn’t understand the language, it can sometimes thwart the process. So for example, if she’s speaking Japanese, I have to basically alter my — I still stay in set as long as I can take it and sometimes it’s work — but you have to speak in a way that’s a combination of body language and sub-communications and using a lot of facial…. Basically you’re communicating pure emotions, she doesn’t logically understand what you’re saying whatsoever, that can be one problem.
In terms of like Miami versus New York, there may be subtle differences, but some things I’m just oblivious to. Maybe if I really think about it, but I just don’t pay attention to these things. All I know is that when I do go down there to any one of those cities, I have the best time.
Do you have favorite city to party in? What city has the best girls?
On face value, Miami will appear to have the hottest girls. L.A. on face value will appear to have the hottest. And they do have very beautiful girls in both cities. Las Vegas as well, but in Las Vegas, everybody is a transient, meaning they’re coming and going. It’s not like you meet a girl at the Hard Rock, chances are she’s from Wisconsin or L.A. or someplace other than Las Vegas. I have a cousin in Vegas, if you ever spend time in Vegas, it’s a very blue-collar town, it’s not as exciting as the Strip. But what I realized is that in New York, if you know the right people, and you know the right venues to go to, there is a sea of beautiful women in New York. We’re talking really tall, classy, high heels, 5’11″ Ukrainian model hot girl in New York. You wont see them walking down 34th and 8th, you wont see them walking down to Starbucks, you know? It’s like an underworld that exists. It’s not an underworld, but it’s a world where you have to know the right people and the right venues and the right places to go to, but there is a horde of beautiful women up there.
It’s true. That’s why we live here.
I used to not like New York, because I hate the weather. The summertime is beautiful. I didn’t spend that much time where I had any quality friends in New York. But once I got to know the city and got to know the right people, just beautiful women in New York.
Are you spending more time in New York?
I’ll be spending time here and there, maybe Miami. We’re doing a boot camp in Australia, Mystery is leading that one. Didn’t want to go. Sometimes you’ve got a toss up between the work you have on your plate and…. Boot camps are very exhausting. They’ll derail you for four days, because you’re up all night.
Two last questions: Any other advice for our users or words of wisdom?
I would say this: It’s O.K. to be sexual. It’s O.K. to be looking for a girl or a girlfriend or girlfriends, but if you’re not doing it right, then at least be humble enough to know that you don’t know everything and go seek out that knowledge. When I was born, I didn’t know anything about anything. From different people I started acquiring knowledge in different areas. But if you’re willing to learn and put down your cockiness and go to somebody that does it better than you. And I guarantee you that all that effort and time and all that money that you spend on whatever cologne you think is going to work or whatever your shirt you think is cool or whatever bottle service you get because you think some girls are going to be attractive, all that are just things to supplement your core personality, because if that ain’t there, then all of it’s for not. I’ve seen a lot of my clients, my classes aren’t cheap, they’re like 3 or 4 thousand dollars, so the typical student I get went to college and has a job and has a business. These are successful men. So it’s testament to the fact that money alone hasn’t solved his problems for him. So if you want to invest in anything, really look at your personality, your lifestyle, your identity. And treat like that a piece of art and work on it because without that… the most important thing you can invest in is your personality.
Tell me anybody who’s ever made history he’s had a very magnificent, charismatic, powerful personality. Norman Schwarzkopf, Persian Gulf 1, he was the commanding general and he said, “On the subject of leadership, if I had to choose between character and ability, I would choose character because even if you don’t know how to load a tank or shoot a machine gun, but you can command a group of men to do those very important and dangerous tasks for you, they have to want to listen to you and respect you.” So even if you don’t have the technical skill yourself, but if you have the character that other men will follow you, your aggregate power increases. So invest in your personality. And it’s not something that’s handed to you and it’s not subject to change. You can be a better person and the reason I say “better,” it’s not because i want to make a feel good moment, I think being attractive is synonymous with typically that which is the best of humanity. Things like being humorous, being intelligent, being ambitious, being successful, and I’m not saying being fat and being lazy can get a girl, I’ll tell you to go be fat and lazy. It just doesn’t happen. So you’re going to find that if you want to invest in yourself that way, two things are going to happen, you’re going to end up attractive to women and you are going to be a better person. So what’s a better of spending your time than doing that?
Absolutely. And lastly, a lot of people find themselves in situations where they see the most beautiful girl and just want to talk to her, but they don’t just have the balls to do it. What kind of advice do you have for that situation?
Well, there’s a reason for that in a couple areas. The primary area I believe is the ego, you have to understand your ego. Because you’ve created this prisoner of your own device. In some way shape or for, the approval or rejection that you’re about to receive from this woman has some bearing on your own self-image as a successful man, as an attractive man. I don’t have that thought process. If that happens to me, cocky or not, I have the audacity to allow myself to believe, what’s wrong with her? Now some people say what’s wrong with me? Maybe she’s having a bad day. Move on, it doesn’t phase me. The whole buildup of the initial reaction is just not there, I come in and I’m not too friendly, I’m not too standoffish, I’m not 100% normal, at least from my perception, and it’s exactly what they want.
There’s a set of belief systems also that I teach and one of them is kind of counter-intuitive actually but it’s very helpful, is you’re talking to a girl, the last thing you want to think about is picking her up. Because your thoughts will show in your outward actions and your emotions and the things you say and the things you do. You go up to the girl, don’t even care about if you pick her up, don’t even want it, don’t even think it. Just focus on the process in the moment right now. That’s all you can do anyway. But to the guy who’s nervous about approaching the girl, yeah, you’re not the only one. Everyone gets nervous, you have to understand what causes that and don’t let it rule you. Have some control over it. You’ve got to do this in life with many other things: I don’t really ever feel like working out. I know it’s good for me so i motivate myself to get out of bed and do it. I didn’t feel like studying in college, in fact I hated studying in college, but I decided that now’s the time and I went and did it no matter what. I always ended up feeling sleepy or wanted to go have a cigarette or something, but you’ve got to sit down and fucking do it. This is no different. You’ve got to understand, okay, this is what’s happening. This is not an emotion that I’m going to relish in right now, I’m going to override it and plow forward.
Excerpted from http://www.brobible.com/. View full article here.
Adventures in Cuba – FR
I just got back from Cuba a couple weeks ago. This is the first time that I’ve ever visited not only a communist country, but a country that doesn’t speak English as their main language. Knowing that the primary language in Cuba is obviously Spanish, I pulled out my iPhone before I left…there’s an app for that. I managed to find an application that not only listed a bunch of common Spanish phrases that would be useful to anyone visiting the country, but a voice actually spoke the Spanish phrase in order for the user to convey the phrase as best as they can.
There were a few problems leaving the Camaguey airport. Because of my hair and my avatar I was stopped by an airport guard and I was questioned thoroughly about whether or not I was a drug user. At this point I was a little scared I was going to be thrown into one of those little rooms that you see in the movies and get the full experience of an interrogation. After ten minutes of explaining how I was NOT an avid drug user I was released. I hopped on the tour bus and finally I was en route to my destination in Santa Lucia. As soon as I walked off the bus, I was an instant celebrity in the eyes of the employees that worked at the hotels. One of the bartenders was so fascinated with my hair that every time I came up to the bar he would immediately serve me over the other patrons who had already been waiting. Combining good social vibing and a powerful style will pretty much guarantee that you are going to be remembered by people, especially in a foreign country. This truly reinforces the power of peacocking. Customizing your avatar is an essential part of the game, as well as your self-development as a whole.
The resort was pretty small, but luckily there was some form of night entertainment at the disco which was up and going at night around 11:30. As my buddies and I were getting ready to hit up the disco in a few short minutes, I decided that it’s time to do my hair up for the evening. I plugged my hair dryer into the bathroom socket, and that shit starts making some really crazy noises and heating up fairly intensely. Then BOOM, the fuse in the bathroom blows leaving the bathroom powerless. As I chuckled to myself I made my way into the main room of the hotel. I ask my buddy if there’s an outlet beside his bed for my hair dryer, he points, I plug in and ZZZZZTTTTTTTT. Before I know it there’s a loud popping sound in the room and the entire suite is powerless. As I laughed my ass off I finished getting ready for the disco and we headed out, my hair undone.
We arrive at the disco fashionably late. There’s no trouble getting in at all, and we stroll up to the bar, music pumping. As we are getting drinks at the bar I pop open the first set that I have to the right of me which happens to be a girl by herself. I opened with the community classic “Who lies more” because of how cliché it is and I thought it would be funny. I run the opener and start to stack into an A2 piece when I notice a random dude come up and try to hug the girl I’m gaming up from behind. I played that shit off like I didn’t even notice the guy trying to slime his way in and stacked my material. As I continued talking, the chick literally grabs the guy and throws him off of her and he disappeared into the night, never to be seen again while she turned back to me to listen intently to what I was saying. It was soon after this that I asked her what she thought about something and I muffled Spanish words among the lines of ” Lo siento, non comprendez pas” which is my horrible translation for “Sorry, I don’t speak English.” I laughed my ass off so hard I ejected the set.
I headed over to the dance floor and worked some dance floor game with some Cuban girls. One thing I definitely noticed over there was that girls were a lot more aggressive at getting guys than in any of the places I’ve been in Canada or the United States. There were different instances when the girls would walk up, try to say hello in very broken English and then just grab your dick, or just plain open you BY grabbing your dick. When this did happen, even though I said things like “OMG buy me a drink before you hit on me like that!” and things of that caliber, it was very obvious that they had no idea what I was saying, but calibrating the right tonality, body language, and facial expressions they felt what I meant as clearly as I could demonstrate without knowing the linguistics behind it. Again, this solidified the principles read in Revelation even more. When Mystery says to be interesting, it doesn’t necessarily mean to try and say interesting things all of the time, it simply means to MAKE everything you say interesting by properly calibrating your vocal inflection and your body language in ways that will make you come off interesting as a person, not just bringing up an interesting topic. These key things project a lot sub communications to the girl that is ultimately more powerful than words.
The next day the big plan was for us all to go drunken mopedding all day. After receiving probably some of the worst instruction I have ever seen in my life, I fired up my moped and drove it right through the fucking rose garden in front of the hotel, tearing up a line of roses and bushes in clear sight. As the dude who rented us the moped started yelling and chasing me, I regained control of the moped and took off into the sunset ignoring his cries.
We were flying down these torn up country roads with goats, horses, cats, and dogs randomly running throughout the streets. At one point, while I was flying down the road I noticed the road start to get a little rough. Before I had much of a chance to slow down I hit a huge pothole in the road which launched me up to land in ANOTHER pothole that threw me off of the vehicle into a huge puddle in the road while my moped crashed into the ground. Best wipe out ever! Good times and I even got the deposit back 
While we ate lunch when we got back to the resort, one of the girls my friend was dancing with the night before was giving us proximity by sitting by herself at an adjacent table. My friend wouldn’t initiate the chat, saying that it was something that worked for me, but that he couldn’t approach the girl because he was too afraid of rejection. I found this especially interesting because this guy has hooked up with quite a few chicks over online dating sites, though when it comes to cold approach almost every circumstance he backs down because he is too afraid. I explained to him that rejection ultimately doesn’t matter because the girl is really only rejecting your approach, not you because how could she know you? I also explained how I used to be terrified to talk to women but it is something that I have trained myself to do over time so you progressively get desensitized to it. There’s always a hint of it lingering around but as long as you get those three warm-up sets in, it’s on! Regardless of the speech, he didn’t approach, so I initiated the chat. Like most of the girls, she as well only spoke Spanish with a tidbit of broken English. We talked for a bit and we invited her over to our table to chill, she came over and I just started talking. I would say what seemed to me like very basic English statements, most of which she still didn’t comprehend…when it hit me…why wasn’t I using that Spanish speaking app? I whipped out my phone and utilized it to start conversing with her in Spanish. After some chat we made plans to meet up with her and her friend at the disco that night.
Even though I’ve never been really big on dance game at all, I found when I was in Cuba I was doing it all the time, it was an easy way to break the language barrier, and a lot of the times the girls would open you and bring you out on the dance floor. My brother and I ended up meeting our buddy at the disco, where we discovered that the girl from lunch didn’t show up. As I was making my way back to the dance floor from the bar a woman in a red dress stopped me. After a brief chat, she asked me to dance and pulled my ass to the dance floor. As I was dancing with this girl to some intense grinding while my friend enjoyed the same with one of her friends, we noticed that the girl from lunch and her friend showed up!
We rolled over to the bar to refresh our selves when we were approached by the girls who were supposed to meet us there. Instantly I thought a fight was going to get started because the girl my buddy was dancing with gave a shove to the girl from lunch and they started verbally jousting in Spanish. We quickly grabbed the girls and separated the scene by taking the two we were with back to the dance floor. The other girls followed. To spice things up a bit, I told my buddy to do the same thing I was going to do, which was to dance with the one girl, get grinding and do a big roll off and dance with the other girl. When we started to implement this into our game things got incredibly intense. The girls would grab us away from each other over and over and were grinding all over us as if to show up the other girls. At this point the girl in the red dress asked me to sit down and take a break. I’m quite drunk so I’m having an extremely difficult to try and comprehend the broken English. She tries to tell me something here and she tries to repeat it over and over again on account music pumping vividly in the foreground. She pulls out her smokes, shows me and directs me to come outside with her. Once we are out there she gives me a smoke and makes a little bit of small talk, and then she said something I was NOT expecting: “So we go back to your room and go fucky-fucky?” she asks. “What?” I retort. She repeats the statement, and I tell her that I have a friend in the hotel room. She suggests the beach. Something seems slightly off, my spider sense is tingling. Then she says “Come on, how many pesos? How many pesos?” I start to think, Wow my game must be pretty tight if this girl is going to pay me to…wait a minute! I was being swayed by a Cuban hooker. As I laughed I told her I wasn’t into that sort of deal, and that I was a PUA and such, none of which she understood. I ended up throwing a “Buenos Noches” her way and headed back into the disco, managing to lose myself in the crowd.
I went back into the disco to find my buddy and the other girls. The crazy dance fest continued with the girl and her friend which were some of the best dancers I’ve seen. As they were dancing with us at one point they totally synced up with each other and did the exact same little dance move to me and my friend at the same time which was incredibly sexy. This shit was straight out of Dirty Dancing Havana Nights. From there, everything was else was the pretty standard deal. These girls ended up hanging out with us most of the night while I implemented some intense kino and vibing instead of conversation and, well… fade to black.
I’m glad to be back in Canada, and I have really started to appreciate the social settings we have here a lot more. I was also reassured how important body language, tonality, and expressions are in a set, which can demonstrate a lot of someone’s personality. Next time I head to a country having a native language other than English, it would be a good idea to bone up a bit more on the language because although it isn’t as important as sub communications, you can obviously do quite a bit with linguistics to demonstrate a ton of value. Knowing the language would’ve probably helped me avoid the Cuban hookers a bit better too…but hey, it’ll make a great story to tell the grandkids one day!
About Showcase
Showcase is a
VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/content editor for Venusian Arts, Showcase is also currently concluding his undergrad in the computer sciences and is about to start his post grad in network security. When he is not traveling, Showcase produces, writes, and directs films with Prophet.
How to Generate Your Own DHV Stories, With Examples.
One topic within the art of pick up that many new and experienced PUA’s find difficult is the creation of DHV routines. Luckily, we at Venusian Arts can reach deep into your background and experiences to help you bring forward the coolest things from your own life to talk about in set. Using your own stories means they are congruent with you, and therefore easier to convey with good delivery, passion and energy. This article is gonna show you how.
As a re-cap from the Mystery-Method, DHV stories are aimed at demonstrating the ‘key attraction switch’ flicking qualities of Leader / Protector / Pre-Selection / Successful risk taker / willingness to emote. There are others (well traveled, experienced etc) but these are the main things we should convey in A2 and beyond.
People sometimes think DHV stories need to be seriously hard hitting and jammed with very obvious DHV ‘spikes’. For example…”hey get this, I just got back from Sydney, well the plane was late and my ex girlfriend, who was waiting at the airport for me was late for a modeling shoot, and already had a parking ticket on her Ferrari” [demonstrates pre-selection].
But you know, demonstrating attraction switches can also be as simple as saying something like “my ex-girlfriend called me, she was freaking out, I mean REALLY scared, so I got her to focus, I told her “listen to me babe, trust me, everything is gonna be fine”” [demonstrates pre-selection, protector and some leader qualities].
“I don’t have any DHV stories” is something I’ve heard more than anything from PUA’s since I’ve been teaching Game. Guess what? you all have experiences that can be turned into DHV stories, whether your 18 or 80. I’ll show you…lets get that grey matter working, get a pen and think of a time when you…
• Had something interesting, funny or unusual happen to you
• Were there for someone with a problem (friend had a dilemma, spoke to you for advice)
• Stood up and supported somebody (it was hard for him, so I stood up and said lets do this together. I mean my friends and I are totally there for each other)
• Calmed someone down (“she was really scared, I told her to focus on me and that everything would be ok”)
• Organized something for friends (holiday, away trip, day out etc)
• Were chased by a girl (“she was bombarding me with text messages”)
• Did something with a girl(s) (“My friend Jane and I went to….”)
• Took a beating for someone (It was gonna be bad, but we faced it together)
• Told somebody what to do (“they didn’t know what to do next, so I told them to…”)
Hopefully you get the picture of the sorts of questions you should be asking yourself, so we should have some stuff to work with now. With some thought, we can move from the output of these questions to a DHV story.
Example 1 BAD FLIGHT: I had some bad-ass turbulence on a flight once, everyone was screaming, very scary. I told a girl sitting next to me it’d be ok, even though I was crapping my pants LOL.
Wow something crazy happened to me on a flight to Hawaii recently, everybody is feeling relaxed, the stewardesses are serving drinks with their fake smiles going on. Anyway, then the plane starts to bounce, a little at first. Then more, people start to feel nervous. Suddenly it all kicks off, Bang, Bang, Bang, drinks everywhere, said stewardess off the ground, people start screaming. There’s a girl next to me in tears, I’m trying to keep her calm telling her it’ll all be fine. She starts to dig her nails into me! Next thing its all deathly calm and quiet. Severe turbulence the pilots said! After that we both ended up drinking our fair share of duty free a. to keep her nice and calm and b. for me to blank out the pain from where I’d allowed her to dig her nails!
Example 2 POLAND NOSE BREAK: I was out drinking with 2 women friends and had my nose broken in a street brawl. Got it fixed, it was all fine.
I was on holiday in Poland, my second home. I lived out there for a year when I was younger. Well I’d been drinking in a bar with a couple of girls I know. Anyway, one goes outside to order a taxi, and the second girl and I follow her soon after. Outside my friend is being hassled by these 3 drunken guys, I can sense her unease. So I roll over to see what’s happening and they hear me speaking, and presume I’m German, well Poles and Germans don’t always get along so a fight breaks out. When the dust settles, the girls are fine thankfully but my nose is broken. I’m like “ok hospital it is!” where the doc manually fixes my nose! Get this, he then takes out a mirror and says “Is that how it looked before? Well I don’t know, so I open the door and ask the girls and they are like, yeah babe it looks as good as before! LOL [ Protector / pre-selection / well traveled]
So you can see aspects of the questions I asked earlier drawn together in a number of life events, then with a little work these are pulled into DHV stories. The two above are real events from my life, about 90% factual with a sprinkling of embellishment for effect ;¬), and have been run successfully a thousand or more times in A2.
The second question I get asked a lot is “how do I bring these stories into the conversation?”. It’s EASY guys, here’s how. I use what I term “lead-in statements”, usually 2 or 3 sentences that can move the conversation from virtually any topic (routine or fluff!) into my story, examples below…
To get into BAD FLIGHT DHV ROUTINE-
I just noticed, you have a smile you can turn on and off on demand (neg)!
I bet you’d be awesome calming people down in a crisis
It reminds me of a time when…something crazy happened on a flight recently….
OR
I just noticed, are those real nails? (neg)
Ooh I get nervous around girls with nails like that LOL
Its just that…something crazy happened on a flight recently….
OR
Hmmm…I’m guessing you work as an air stewardess? Its just you are very well kept…and you have that ‘blonde’ look ;¬) (neg)
I bet you’d be awesome calming people down in a crisis though
Its like on this flight I had recently…something crazy happened…
So in summary, you’ve seen a couple of examples of DHV stories, how to generate them and how to bring them in to the conversation. Of course it takes practice, and delivery is soo important, but this should get you thinking. In future I’ll write about how we weave in Kino and compliance testing into our DHV stories, and remember that at bootcamps we spend time with you developing your personalized DHV’s, then perfecting them with you in-field.
Now I’m gonna open it up to you guys. Post back a couple of sentences briefly describing an event from your life and I’ll turn a few of them into DHV stories. Lets develop some material with which to rescue the bored HB’s of the world from being asked “do you come here often” and “what do you work as” ;¬). Lets do it brothers….
Caddy
This is part four of my series on phone game. Click here to view my previous articles.
As with my previous articles, everything mentioned below is a guideline only. These rules are not set in stone! You have to adapt and calibrate your actions as you go.
Once you’ve built some comfort and had at least one conversation with her on the phone already, it’s time to set up your Day-2. Hopefully, you’ve already seeded a possible hangout when you #-closed her, or at least during your previous phone call(s) so all you have to do is invite her to something you are already doing.
The problem here is that different women have their own sets of social anxieties. Some women will have no problem showing up alone with you and all your friends for some chicken wings, others will only feel comfortable hanging out with your if they have a lot of their friends around, while others may only feel comfortable if it’s just the two of you hanging out together in a very public place.
The most effective approach to this is to give her two options to hanging out with you. My standard Day-2 line is (and I think I got this from Lovedrop): “We’re all doing our weekly wing-night on Wednesday, you should come along. Bring some friends if you want. Or, I’m going shopping on Thursday for a new shirt and you could come help me pick one out.” This way she can choose whichever option will be the most comfortable for her as well as the most convenient (she may actually be busy on one of those days). I say almost the exact same thing every time. I just change out the days and events as necessary.
If she says she wants to bring friends, let her know that it’s fine but make sure you bring some too. Girls and a wingman are ideal here. If you can, try to throw in something to insinuate that you are expecting her to bring her girlfriends, and not her orbiting guy friends (I made this mistake too many times back in the day and it really complicates things). But be prepared that she might bring a guy anyway.
You should also be prepared for her throwing out a counter-offer and suggesting that you do something with her and her friends. Do not take this as an IOD! It is more than likely just a means for preserving her own comfort levels. This will happen from time to time, and unless it’s a large event she wants you to come to, expect to just show up by yourself. And if it is a large event, don’t ask her if you can bring someone, just show up your wing or (preferably) wing-girl.
Just like when you #-closed her to begin with, talk to her a bit more for a few minutes once you set up the hang out and then get off the phone. You can call or text her if you feel it necessary during the days leading up to your day-2, but it is not required. Once again, calibrate it based on the amount of time between your hang-out and how interested she appears to be. You don’t want to be that guy that calls her every day before you hang out just to remind her of the fact that she is supposed to hang out with you (especially if, like me, you set your days-2’s up for within only a few days of your call). But at the same time, there may be occasions when you will need to call or text her at some point (like if there is an extended period in between the conversation and the future day-2). In some sets, if I feel like I need to keep her buying temperature up until we see each other I like to send silly little texts like the ones I listed in part 1. Or I’ll just send her a quick message to let her know about something funny or interesting that just happened.
Try to use your best judgment here. What you will need to do will vary from woman to woman and you’ll eventually just get a sense for it with practice.
When you reach the day of the day-2, you should definitely call her to finalize your plans. I personally never assume that an arrangement to meet up is set in stone simply because in this day and age plans can change instantly and without notice. I always call my target before the day-2, usually in the afternoon if our hang-out is in the evening. I try to keep this call short and sweet because I want more to talk about when we actually meet, but it’s usually best to talk for a minute or two about your respective days before bringing up the meet. As long as you don’t come off as if you are just using filler conversation to avoid bringing up the date (which will come off as insecure and needy), it will help you seem a little less eager to hang out with her. The conversation should have the same vibe that you would have with your friends if you called them up to talk about your plans for the evening.
Next week: how your voicemail can be your wingman when you’re not around!
About Prophet
Prophet is a
VA Coach operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work as an instructor/site admin for Venusian Arts, Prophet is a software consultant at a leading software development firm. In his spare time, he finances, writes, and produces independent films with his wingmen, Showcase and Wild Card.
What’s That Under Her Skirt?
Female Anatomy: Part 1 of 2.
Imagine this scenario: You’re bringing a beautiful girl back to the bedroom. She’s naked, lying on her back and she spreads her legs open right in front of you. If you can focus on observing what you’re looking at instead of immediately wiping the drool from your mouth and jumping her bones, you would be looking at her vulva. Vulvas are not Swedish cars known for safety. The vulva is a fancy medical term for everything you see when you look at a naked female’s outer genitalia (sexual anatomical parts). Vulvas vary in shape, color, texture, and in appearance. Each is unique and a blessing to be next to, so leave the comparisons to Hustler at the door. Most vulvas in magazines or porn are digitally/surgically altered and not what women really look like. The major parts of the outer genitalia consist of the mons pubis, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia majora, labia minora, vaginal opening, the perineum, and the anus. I know what your thinking? What the hell is a mons pubis? This might remind you of school, but it’s absolutely essential we go over these terms. What are they? Where are they located? What to do with them? A great lover knows about these body parts and understands their importance as well as learning how to stimulate them. Knowing this information will increase your chances on helping her achieve pleasure and arousal.
Before we start, those that are visual learners can google “vulva” to see what is begin described. Find a diagram that details the vulva parts and refer back to it as needed. Another great visual is at www.3Dvulva.com and click the 3D vulva/clitoris diagram. Learn where the parts of the genitalia are located. You might get a slap in the face from someone if you’re stimulating her anus but were thinking it was her clitoris. Then again, you might get a smile from someone else too.
Lets start from the top of the vulva and work our way down. The mons pubis is a triangular mound over the pubic bone directly above the clitoral hood and clitoris. It is located in the pubic hair region and extends downward to form the labia majora, or outer lips. It is an important area because within the fatty tissue of the mons pubis are numerous nerve endings. Often with sexual interaction, this area is neglected and forgotten as an area of pleasure and arousal. However, during male superior position (missionary), both the male and female pubic regions grind or press up against each other, increasing the pressure and stimulation of the female mons pubis. But we can (and will) learn to apply sensation and stimulation to this region on a more regular basis.
The clitoral hood is a fold of skin that covers and protects the clitoris. It blends downward from the lower portion of the mons pubis in the shape of an upside-down V and eventually forms the labia minora, or inner lips. A lot of guys will think this little flap is extra skin and serves no purpose. However, it is also filled with nerve endings to aid in arousal and pleasure. I wouldn’t bring it up if it were meaningless; so keep the clitoral hood on your mind and in your vocabulary for a future article on clitoral stimulation. Women know what purpose it serves for them and so should guys.
Which brings us to the hood’s closest neighbor, the clitoris. Most of you have heard of the clit, the magic button, or the love nub. In the last few decades we went from a society that had no idea what the clitoris was to a culture that focuses on it. Sexologists believe the clitoris was made for pleasure, as it has no other physiological function. The portion of the clitoris that is outside the body (head/glans and shaft of the clitoris) has approximately eight thousand nerve endings made purely for her satisfaction. 8K!! It packs a punch and it’s estimated the average external clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the external male penis (glans and shaft). Think about it, twice the nerve endings in such a small package can be an intense amount of arousal in one area. The external clitoris is about the size of a pencil eraser and it varies in size, shape, color, and sensitivity. However, the clitoris is much bigger than most of us think. Like an iceberg, the tip of the clitoris sticks out above the surface of the vulva and the remainder is not visible. There are legs or roots of the clitoris that extend beneath the surface of the vulva and extend downward. That means to properly stimulate the clitoris; one would have to do a lot more than touching the external tip that we’re so used to focusing on. Think of this metaphor. If you were going to water a plant to make it grow best, would you water the leaves or the roots that spread beneath the ground? The answer is the roots. The same idea applies to the clitoris and vulva stimulation. After we cover the external female body parts, we’ll talk about ways to stimulate her different parts, including the clitoris, and tips on how to “water the roots.”
I know you’re wanting to wow your Friday night date with Kama Sutra techniques like the wheelbarrow or the clasping position. Patience, the basics are essential and one must learn to walk before they can run. You’ll be a sprinter and long distance runner in no time.
Dr. Hernando Chaves
Copyright 2009 Hernando Chaves
Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Clinical Sexologist and Psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, CA. He holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, a Master of Arts degree in Marital and Family Therapy, and a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality. Dr. Chaves is a sex educator and college professor, teaching introduction to human sexuality and advanced human sexuality. He is a Sex Coach and resident Sexologist at www.askmen.com, offering guidance and technique training to become a better, more skilled lover. As a public speaker with national and international experience, Dr. Chaves encourages the pursuit of sexual knowledge and healthy sexual expression.
Before we get into this I want you to ask yourself the following:
How much do you usually get accomplished in a day?
How much COULD you get accomplished in a day?
Two very different questions and, in most cases, two very different answers. If you’re like 95% of the population of the western world, you probably understand on some level that you aren’t getting as much done in a day as you’d like. Most people complain that they are already too busy, or too tired, or just can’t find the motivation to get up and get things done. These are excuses. They allow a person to admit that they aren’t getting as much out of their day as they could without actually feeling bad about it. And most of the time, it’s usually because these excuse makers have become accustomed to being unproductive and simply cant be bothered to try to get more out of their day. Too many people spend far too much of their lives on the couch or in front of their computers where it’s safe and boring and familiar. If you are one of those people then this needs to change. If you don’t get off that couch, out the door and out of the house, not getting anything accomplished then your day is pretty much wasted. When you get into a bad habit such as this, only bad things will arise from it such as laziness and do nothingism (and yes, that’s actually a word). In life we all want to be successful, and success thrives from productivity, because when we get shit done were one step closer to reaching our goals in life. It can sometimes take quite a bit of self discipline to become productive; however, here are some very good tips to help you get started.
Try keeping a day planner, something to help you stay on top of things. Most phones today already have a day planner built into them; this makes it easier for those who have them to stay focused on daily/weekly tasks especially with sound alerts to remind you. When writing or programming tasks or events into your planner you should always make sure to put in everything that should be a part of your daily activities. This could be a scheduled hour to hour plan or even a check list of things to do with your day. Include your work out, your practice session for any instrument you play or hobby you take part in, take pride with what you do. Any material you need to read up on and any other such activities you like to indulge yourself in should also be done every day.
Cut down on pointless, mindless activities such video games, mindless web surfing, and television. These things can become very addictive and when indulging in them too much it can become very easy to waste your time. Instead, try reading, writing or even watching instructional videos. Just do anything to expand your mind. After all, knowledge is power! (Sorry, I had to). Now that’s not to say that you should completely cut those things out of your life, it’s always nice to zone out of reality and go into your own little world every once in a while. Just be moderate about these kinds of things and don’t ever get carried away with them.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! You should be doing this anyways. So go soak in some sun, get your errands done, get everything you’ve been putting off done. While your out of the house be sure to make every possible social interaction happen. The more shit you get done for yourself the better you feel about yourself, the better you feel about yourself the more confident you become in yourself. Confidence is key when it comes to your game, with it you can pull off whatever you think you can because you will project it with the vibe you’re giving out. It’s actually quite amazing what a sense of accomplishment can do for your confidence.
The trick here is not to make productivity a chore. It’s so easy to just be lazy say “nah…I just don’t feeling like doing that today.” But this isn’t really helping anything, now is it? You should never feel like you are doing a task or errand against your will. You need to approach these sorts of things from a positive mindset. You should want to get X done, Y sent, and Z put away. You need to feel good about it. At the end of the day you should get into the habit of patting yourself on the back for getting as much done as you did. If you approach your daily tasks from this perspective, you’ll inevitably catch yourself saying “Man, I cant believe how much I got done today!” because you feel so good about it. Even if all you did was run around and do a bunch of tiny errands or worked all day on finishing one big project, you will actually feel better about yourself simply because you were productive, and that can really help your state in the field. Moreover, feeling good about accomplishing something will actually positively reinforce your desire to be productive in the first place, making productivity rather addictive if you approach it with that kind of mindset. So the more productive you are, the more you will find yourself WANTING to be even more productive.
All you have to do is stop yourself from being lazy and this sense of accomplishment will perpetuate itself for as long as you’ll let it.
But although it feels good to get things done, there’s more to this than just feeling good about being productive. You are now taking action in your life. You are getting things done and getting shit handled. If you’ve set some goals for yourself, then every completed task and finished errand gets you closer to those goals, even if only indirectly. Any progress in your life will bring you closer to your life’s goals and dreams. The more you work at things the better you get at them. So don’t be a waster of time, be productive, get shit done and you will be seeing results in yourself in no time at all. Most of all, remember to keep smiling.
- Wild Card
About Wild Card
Wild Card is a seduction writer operating out of Toronto. Aside from his work for Venusian Arts, Wild Card is a card dealer and drummer in a classic rock/new rock band. In his spare time, he takes every opportunity he can to have crazy adventures with his wingmen, Showcase and Prophet.
Unbreakable
When I teach pick up, I prefer to do it over months. This allows me time to get to know the student and really get in their heads and know everything I can. The additional time also allows me to use some unorthodox tactics in teaching people. One of the things I do is make the students watch particular movies and tell me what the pickup lesson was to the movie. I never tell people what they are supposed to be looking for or learning, I make them tell me after the fact. Often they don’t get the point, unless the point is a hardcore sticking point for them and smacking them in the face.
One of the movies that I use is the M. Night Shyamalan movie “Unbreakable”. Most people consider his pinnacle of work to be “The Sixth Sense”. I respectfully disagree. The movie opens with David Dunn (played by Bruce Willis) who has extraordinary abilities that he is unaware of, and is living a very mundane life. His life is in shambles: His kid doesn’t respect him, his wife and he are on the rocks, and he is in a dead end job. At one point, David describes his empty life as “waking up every morning with a great sadness.”
Elijah Price (played by Samuel L. Jackson) believes that he has found the purpose of David. He was meant to save other people as a super hero. David is of course initially resistant and unbelieving in his own abilities (ie. Shitty Inner Game). Elijah spends most of the moving getting David to believe in himself and to realize his purpose. When David finally does accept his path and begins doing what he was meant to do, his life becomes much better. When asked about his sadness in the mornings, he says that it has gone.
There are a lot of movies that show a character going through changes and discovering their purposes. This one for me is so powerful because it describes EXACTLY how I used to feel when I was married and working in a chemical plant. Every morning I woke up miserable. I hated my job and everything about it. Every day was a struggle to go to work. In the beginning this sadness just came in a small dose of longing for something else that I was never able to describe. Eventually toward the end I had to talk myself every day out of calling into work sick or taking a vacation day. The one thing that made me continue on was my love for my then wife. Oh I hid it well, but inside but inside I was dying.
Then something happened that changed everything: I got laid off. Like most people, at the time I defined myself by what I did for a living. It was who I was and I considered it my purpose. The problem was, it really wasn’t my purpose and I hated it (and by proxy my life). When the employees were told of the layoffs, I was mired in self pity for a brief time. Eventually one of the employees told me while I was whoa is me-ing “Go be a teacher. You come in here every day telling us useless shit that none of us here care about. Go tell some kids. They probably won’t care either, but at least they will take notes.” Initially I felt insulted. I often felt out of place at work, but I didn’t like it being thrown in my face. The fact was I was very out of place. I was not content just to go to work and survive and be contained in a little bubble. My soul wanted more. My co-workers were different.
I took my co-worker’s advice and did indeed become a teacher (although I needed far more than just his advice to actually do that. I’ll tell those stories another time though). Once I was on the path to being a teacher an interesting thing happened: No more morning sadness. Because I found my purpose, like David Dunn, I am unbreakable. You can be as well when you find your place in the world. Before even attempting to find a woman, you should first find yourself.
—-Knack
About Knack
Knack is a
VA Coach and a world traveler. Knack is an elementary school teacher, and uses his background as a professional educator to take a student specific approach to teaching pick up. He has picked up various languages throughout his journeys and travels to three or four new countries per year in his quest to experience various cultures.
Field Report #1:Party of Five (Matador + Four Girls) February 2009
What happens when Matador and four girls get together, don’t you want to know…..Guess what I am going to tell you.
I arrive at Matador’s pad in the “Beast” a.k.a. my Range Rover and meet up with Kevin Feng, his girl B and walk in the door simultaneously with four lovely ladies all coincidentally with names that begin with the letter E. The night begins with a bevy of women plus Matador hopping in the Beast and driving out to Ecco where Erika has “greased the ropes” for us with one of her many promoter friends.Within minutes we have a table and bottle service on the way. The club is fairly empty as we arrive for once at a decent hour. Matador debriefs me on the game plan for the night. His plan involves him and three girls. My part of the plan involves me playing wingman for the “mother hen” of the group. As I surmise as to how all this will go down tonight I multitask by immediately engaging my target as the proper wingman should. I keep the girl, E1 we’ll call her, busy while Matador escalates on her friend E2. E3 and E4 go off to the dance floor and before I can blink while talking to E1 I see the club has filled up with beautiful women. A large, beautiful assortment has somehow congregated around our table area within the blink of an eye. A year ago I would have thought this to be too hot to handle but I shrug it off as this has become status quo when hanging with Mystery and Matador. I continue on my wingman journey while Matador continues on the mission of bringing 3 women to his bed that night.
Somehow Kevin and B have disappeared and the clock is already near 2. Time flies when you sarge-hard. Before I know it the girls are back in the car. After a quick stop at Wendy’s to feed we headed back at Matador’s place. Before I can sneeze, Matador and 3 of the girls have disappeared. I hear giggling in the bedroom. E1 is still in the living room with me. I keep her busy while I hear a bevy of sounds. I look up to see a shirtless Matador come out for a few seconds chuckle, point to his room where 3 naked women are laughing and watch him disappear back into the beyond. After a few hours I am tired and E1 starts to get antsy to leave. She clucks like a mother hen does and pulls her chick out of the roost after a few hours of my attending to her. The weary wingman must retire but Matador well he continues on the Matador way as anyone who knows him can testify and surely was up all night long doing gosh knows what. You can read the field reports in Revelation and learn the techniques to make this happen but the actual experience is far more exciting than you know till it actually happens.
Simeon
Venusian Arts
About Simeon
Simeon is a
VA Coachoperating out of California. After winning the title of Master Pick-Up Artist on Season 2 of VH1?s
The Pick-Up Artist, Simeon has chosen to further his training with Mystery and Matador as he continues the everlasting journey of improvements in the pickup arts. Now he has chosen to give value to others by teaching the arts that have so dramatically transformed his life so that others may share in the enjoyment that pickup creates through the rigorous but rewarding journey of pickup artist training provides.
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